So I’ve been getting a little frustrated because I seem to keep putting every ounce I lose back on despite sticking strictly to clean eating and eating the roughly 1400 calories recommended for me by the “LoseIt” app.  I’ve previously stated how much I was a fan of this app because it makes you conscious of what and how much I am eating.  The thing is, wasn’t loosing weight so I decided to do some research on how I could change things up and get past this apparent plateau.  I started with a few different BMI calculators and interestingly enough each of them told me I should be eating just over 1900 calories per day in order to lose weight.  I feel stupid but at the same time enlightened.  I have always emphasized not under-eating to lose weight and here I was doing it to myself unknowingly.  Long story short, tomorrow I will begin eating the roughly 1900 calories I am supposed to be eating. I will continue to use the “LoseIt” app just to keep track of those calories and help me to be mindful.  I’m also going to try eating small meals throughout the day rather than 3 large meals!  Hopefully this in combination with workouts will help me to get in the shape I’m wanting to be in!  I’m just going to stay positive and this will happen for me!

The first day of running was absolute torture to me and it was all because I let my mind get in my way.  Due to past problems with asthma and therefore running there is a lot of negative self-talk involved any time I try to run now.  I allowed myself to use it as an excuse/reason to stop way before I actually needed to.  Well, two days ago we went to the gym and there were no treadmills available (it’s still too cold for outside running here) so we did the stationary bike and elliptical.  I did almost 8 miles on the bike and one mile at about 6 speed on the elliptical!  This turned out to be exactly what I needed.  I was able to prove to myself that my problems with running really are mostly in my head because when I’m doing other things my endurance is just fine.  So yesterday we went to the gym again.  This time there were treadmills (pause for dramatic effect).  I got on and walked fast for about 2 minutes to warm up and then I started jogging/running.  I made it .6 miles before I had to slow down due to a side ache but once I stretched it out I turned the speed back up and finished the mile!!!  I was so unbelievable proud of myself.  Today is just a lift and walk day and then the weekend is for rest but I’m excited to see what I can do come Monday!  Besides the other machines helping me get over myself, my boyfriend also really helped.  This past Monday when we finished running he told me he didn’t think I gave it my all even though I was insisting that I had.  He told me that I was only hurting myself by lying to myself.  At first that really pissed me off because I really had gotten myself to believe that a quarter mile jog was my best.  Then I got determined to actually give it my all and see what happened, that’s what I did yesterday, and I left feeling so amazing and still feel great today!

What happens when you get serious with a former cross country runner and you’re terrible at running? He wants to teach you, that’s what.  So this week we have started running.  I wish I could say I’m loving it but the first couple days have been a serious challenge for me.  I let my past with running get in my own way and I recognize that so starting today I’m just going to think positively and see where that gets me.  On the up side there are other things to do at the gym like lift and I LOOOVVVE lifting.  It’s something I had to do in high school for sports and I just fell in love with it.  I’m a little sad that I missed the opportunity to be using the gym here at school for the past couple years (stupid social anxiety) but I’m excited to be back to it!  I’m glad he’s pushing me to improve because I needed the jump start right now.  Every day is a new day and a chance to improve and that’s what I’m going to do.  I am very determined this time!

I’m also very proud of myself because I realized yesterday that I have been eating clean consistently for two months.  Of course there have been some off days but that’s to be expected with anything.  I think it’s really helping that I started eating clean first and am now getting in to working out because if I had started it all at the same time I would have gotten overwhelmed and discouraged!

Today has without a doubt been my favorite Valentine’s Day ever!  I think the reason is that I’ve finally realized that today is about our love for everyone, not just romantic love.  

This morning I got up and made my love a CD of our songs along with a case for it.  Then I attempted to make him heart shaped bacon which kind of turned out (Pinterest lies sometimes).  He came over and I gave him my little things but we are doing our big celebration next weekend on our anniversary.  After that he had to leave for class and home an stayed for a while and got some cleaning and journaling done.  On my way home I went to Anthropology to try to find a dress for next weekend but no such luck.  I’m happy that I didn’t get down on myself when things didn’t look right on me though! I blamed the dress instead of myself and I feel like that’s progress.  After that I went to Lululemon with my Christmas gift card and got a great sweatshirt!  I’ve decided that after many tries their pants just aren’t for me.  I splurged and got myself a chai latte and came home to my parents.  I made myself dinner because they went out.  I read my new magazine, took a bath, read my book (for fun!), listened to music, and now I’m watching a movie while having tea and some chocolate covered raisins.  

Finally! I weighed myself and I’m proud to report that after a week and a half of clean eating, lots of water, short workouts, and yoga I am already down 3 pounds!  I’m really proud of myself for sticking to clean eating rather than just cutting calories and it’s really paying off.  

I hope you all had a lovely day!